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Happy B-Day to myself.  My theme for turning 30, Willin by Little Feat.

Theme for turning 31, Lightning Bar Arlo Guthrie

Theme for turning 32….check it out.

I think Midnight Special rocked.  One reason:

Gary Wright kicks green donkey penis!  …..and they knew it..Let’s party.


paradise west A few of  the westwood paradisians took a roadtrip to Eskridge, KS a few weekends ago.

There was sunshine, foliage, summer brew and plenty of smooth tunes to keep us happy and content.

A very smooth time led us to name Eskridge as “Paradise West”.

Be there next time, you can’t miss it!

The Butt

And so, David took charge of the Weber and smoked a pork loin carolina style.  There was meat abound; as vast as the sea.  Smoked to perfection, we feasted in Paradise.

Team Paradise took it to the streets last Friday night to check out Summer Breeze, A Tribute to Yacht Rock.  A fun time was had by all, though a few of us felt a bit sea-sick the next morning.

Lighting Ceremony:  Complete!  It was a magical night; felt just like the tropics on this crisp November night.  Check out the before and afters below.

Before the Lighting

Before the Lighting



palm-tree Holidays in paradise approach!  Soon the stockings for Loggins, Messina and Poko will be hung with care, but first, the inaugural Night of Lights in Paradise!  Mark your calendars; Friday November 28th will be the first annual lighting ceremony down in Westwood Paradise.  Follow the Mist to find your way.  Get dressed in your 80s best.  We’ll be sipping on some sexy Canadian Mist drinks.  “So light tasting, smooth and mixable, there’s no limit” to the shennanigans it will induce.   Only Canadian-born beverages are welcome.  Why 80s and Canada you ask?  Well, why not!?  A guaranteed appearance from the Mayor of Paradise, Headhoncho, as well as a possible special appearance from the Mayor of Westwood for the official lighting.  See you down in Paradise!  Lights come on at 6pm, party lasts allll night.

As we all take our own time to get over the front yard tragedy of recent, I encourage you to find hope in the future.  As the blustery winter wind begins to move in, and the leaves have only 1 or 2 team raking sessions to go, there will be peace in paradise.  Mr. Frost will soon be here, and with it, the paradise we all know and love will shift into the porch of dreams… the captains quarters.  The warmth of the 1500 watt space heater… the sparkle of the warm white LED lighting, and soon to be fully festive with Christmas wonderment… A cozy (but sometimes smokey) place to call winter utopia!  And with the winter housing of Mickey and Kate’s porch furniture, you’ll never want to leave!  Come all ye faithful Paradisians!

The table of dreams that you see at the top of the page, died tragically in a windstorm.  There was no refuge for this beautiful, gorgeous lawn delight.  The evil winds of hard rock and un-smooth music swooped the innocently mellow congregation of table, umbrella and chairs into the depths of the sea of westwood.  There is but only a few chards of glass left to memorialize this wonderful monument.  There are no pictures of this tragedy. Who would want to see this horrific site? No one. No one with a heart.

All is left is this account and hope for the future:

Torn between the Un-smooth’s insistence that he must live in the real world and John Oates plea, Poko finally runs to the nearest porch, and screams the name “Hard Piece” out into the night.

Poko then appears standing with the John Oates, who says that all of Paradise was destroyed by The Un-Smooth, whereas Poko’s bravery helped one chard of glass from the dream survive. With this one chard of glass, Poko can rebuild the entire Paradise through wishes and imagination. Poko wishes for Paradise’s restoration, and for a ride on the seas of smooth.

The Scene went something like this:

(The front yard is being taken away by the Un-smooth. Because of Poko’s new found disbelief, the Un-smooth has grown stronger and is now attacking the last remaining part of Paradise.)

Poko:  What do I have to do?

John Oates: You have to give me a new name! You’ve already chosen it. You just have to call it out!

Poko: It’s only a story, It’s only a story.

(Paradise shakes and the wind blows harder)

John Oates:  Poko! Why don’t you do what you dream, Poko!

Poko: But I can’t! I have to keep my feet on the ground!

John Oates: Call my name!  Poko, please!  Save us!

Poko:  All right, I’ll do it. I’ll save Paradise! I will do what I dream!

(He climbs up the stairs.  He leans out into the storm and calls the name he had chosen for John Oates)


(NEXT SCENEDarkness, pure and black as night. We hear Poko speak.)

Poko: Why is it so dark?

John Oates: In the beginning it is always dark.

(A small light appears and starts growing until the two smooth men’s faces are illuminated. It is coming from an object in The Hard Piece’s hand. Poko looks at it.)

Poko: What is that?

John Oates: One chard of glass. It is all that remains of our smooth empire.

Poko: Paradise has totally disappeared?

John Oates: Yes.

Poko: Then everything has been in vain.

John Oates:  No, it hasn’t Paradise can arise in you.  In your dreams and wishes, young Poko.

Poko: How?

John Oates:  Open your hand.

(Oates puts the chard of glass into poko’s hand and poko looks at it)

John Oates:  What are you going to wish for?

Poko: I don’t know.

John Oates:  Then there will be no Paradise any more.

Poko: How many wishes do I get?

John Oates: As many as you want. And the more wishes you make, the more magnificent Paradise will become.

Poko: Really?

John Oates: Try it.

Poko: Then my first wish is…..

(Oates follows his gaze and smiles.)

(CUT TO-Poko and Head Honcho drinking sailing the seas of smooth with a miller lite and Christopher Cross playing on the porch. Below, Paradise has been reborn.  Everything appears as before)

Poko: Head Honcho, It’s more beautiful that I thought!

Head Honcho:  Like it?

Poko: Head Honcho, It’s wonderful! It’s like the Un-smooth never was!

Head Honcho: What would you like to wish for next?

(CUT TO-View of the the gorillas two doors down talking in the street.  They look over and see Poko and Head Honcho appear and start chasing them. They Scream..)

Dumb Gorilla 1:  Oh no! SMOOTH!

Poko: Yeah!  Look there they are!  You guys need to shut the fuck up!

Dumb Gorilla 2: Hey let’s go inside and shut the fuck up!

(one of themcires pointing to the alley by their house.  They start to rest but Head Honcho chases them.  They start running again!)

Poko:  We’re gonna get you guys!

(They run down the alley and jump into the dumpster as Head Honcho almost get there! They peer out of the dumpster then duck back in.)

(VIEW-of Paradise and the Sky.  We hear a voice, a narrator that sounds like Michael McDonald.)

Michael McDonald:  Poko made many other wishes and had many other amazing adventures before returning to Paradise…But that’s another story.

Poko is a free spirit.

Poko is not a member of any political party.

Poko frequently pees outside.

Poko keeps it smooth.

In these troubling times even the smoothest of the smooth cannot turn a blind eye to the upcoming presidential election.  McCain or Obama?  Obama or McCain?  My friends….you ain’t got to choose either.  Why don’t you listen to the radio?  Forget Sarah Palin….She’s gone.  I think I have a choice that would make even Sarah Smile.  Ladies and Gentlemen….the only smooth choice for president.

Oh yeah….I can go for that.

“I’m Poko Goldstein and I’ve approved this message.”

Hello Friends.  Poko Goldstein: Manager to the Stars here.  As you know Westwood Paradise is America’s Number One drinking destination.  Forget what the magazines say….listen to Poko.  Westwood Paradise is number one.  We offer a variety of entertainment options right in the front yard….year round.  Westwood Paradise has something for the whole family.  Don’t believe me?  Check this out…..

Westwood Paradise boasts the midwest’s finest selection of beer that happens to be on sale as well as lesser known brands of whiskey and wine.

Hungry? Chef Dave is always cooking something de-licious on the grill/ashtray.  Westwood Paradise also has quick access to the phone numbers or websites for Jimmy-Johns and Papa-Johns.  Coming Soon:  The Number for Taco Johns!

Get your flame on with a wide variety of flammable materials and flame-producing devices!  If it burns, throw that sucker in the fire pit!

We also have Cap’n Dave’s Catch of the Day undersea wildlife display and plenty of expensive electronics for the kids! 

Westwood Paradise is an entertainment mecca!!!  Some of the acts that have graced Westwood Paradise include The Bent Wheatleys, John Oates, and…….The Bent Wheatleys!

Why go anywhere else when paradise awaits?  Still don’t believe me?  Well screw you then.

 ***Westwood Paradise still open!!!  Look for the patio table.  Bring some crap to burn!!***

Attention Smooth People with a Rock and Roll Sensibility: Check out Poko’s Smooth Island Oasis at Pandora Radio.

The Days

May 2018
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