Hello Friends.  Poko Goldstein: Manager to the Stars here.  As you know Westwood Paradise is America’s Number One drinking destination.  Forget what the magazines say….listen to Poko.  Westwood Paradise is number one.  We offer a variety of entertainment options right in the front yard….year round.  Westwood Paradise has something for the whole family.  Don’t believe me?  Check this out…..

Westwood Paradise boasts the midwest’s finest selection of beer that happens to be on sale as well as lesser known brands of whiskey and wine.

Hungry? Chef Dave is always cooking something de-licious on the grill/ashtray.  Westwood Paradise also has quick access to the phone numbers or websites for Jimmy-Johns and Papa-Johns.  Coming Soon:  The Number for Taco Johns!

Get your flame on with a wide variety of flammable materials and flame-producing devices!  If it burns, throw that sucker in the fire pit!

We also have Cap’n Dave’s Catch of the Day undersea wildlife display and plenty of expensive electronics for the kids! 

Westwood Paradise is an entertainment mecca!!!  Some of the acts that have graced Westwood Paradise include The Bent Wheatleys, John Oates, and…….The Bent Wheatleys!

Why go anywhere else when paradise awaits?  Still don’t believe me?  Well screw you then.

 ***Westwood Paradise still open!!!  Look for the patio table.  Bring some crap to burn!!***

Attention Smooth People with a Rock and Roll Sensibility: Check out Poko’s Smooth Island Oasis at Pandora Radio.  http://www.pandora.com/stations/dd58a3704c5960c6b49da144b1eb99c7be65aaf34da7c82c#

Smooth sailing - Autumn Sytle

Did you think that a little chill in the air and leaves on the ground would stop paradise from rolling smooth?  Well, you couldn’t be more wrong.

Westwood Paradise is still in full swing as the crisp weather of Fall sets in.  Come on by and give Poko Pumpkin a little hello, he would love to see you!

Paradise is also glad to report that Happy Hour at the Yacht Club was a big success!  Thanks to all you cool cats that came by.  The drinks were strong, the fire was blazing and the sailing was smooth.

Before the artic blast hits the oceans of the front yard, make sure to keep keep an eye out for spooky pumpkins carved up outside.  We’ll be carving and painting on Thursday the 30th.  They are bound to be spooktastic.

In other news, as soon as pumpkins showed up, so did a strange looking new insect.  After some in depth searching at bugguide.net, I’ve discovered that it’s a baby ladybug!  Harmonia Axyridis to be exact.  I’ve seen them around in the larva stage (my photo) and also in the pupa stage making their home on the underside of our paradise umbrella.

Check out the stages of this little lady!

larva …………………………..pupa………………………………adult

Come one come all to the front yard of dreams!  I decided to invite way too many people to the first annual Happy Hour in Paradise!  Let’s see what happens.

Tell us if you are coming, click your answer in the poll below, then click vote!

Bring your own bottle or small keg of beer. My buddies JB and Regular size nick could sure use the empties for their mini keg Christmas tree this year!  I’ll have some standard mixers for booze.

This good weather might not last for ever so lets set sail for one last time…at least!!!

Come by and see how many people I can get in my front yard!

Bring your lawn chairs if you have em and we might even bust out the grill!  who knows?  what?  papa johns?  oh shit!

Paradise open from 5:00pm til whenever Kenny Loggins comes over.  He always ruins the party.

Party Cove After-Hours Pandora station will be featured tonight.

( I shoulld be home by then, but if I’m not, let yourself in!) LET’S KICK SOME ASS!!!!

Just thought I’d post some videos that the crew at Westwood Paradise Yacht Club really enjoy. I hope you enjoy them too!

John Oates really is “The Hard Piece” in this one!  As most of you know, “She’s Gone”.

Michael McDonald just Keep’s forgetting!  Me too, after a 1.75 of Ten High Michael.  Don’t lose the smooth!

And Michael with the Doobies:

We will call him “Christopher Cross”. Set Sail!

This one’s for you Poko.  Cetera ’08!!! Like an angel!

It was a long weekend at the American Royal BBQ for Westwood Paradise and Maximum Loin.  We kicked some ass, kicked some more ass, then kicked some ass some more!

All in all Maximum Loin took 154th place over all, finishing in the top 33% out of 475 teams.  The delicious BBQ was better than ever for the parties thanks to Brian Roseman.  Beer pong was a sucess thanks to www.collegebeergames.com!  Also many thanks to KC Lofts and Coyote Mike.

Poko and I got back to paradise at 4 am Saturday morning.  Ouch!

Way to keep it smooth Poko.

Well, the Westwood Yacht Club is starting to resemble The Abandoned Luncheonette this week.  As some of you might know, She’s Gone.  Barb went out of town this week.  I’d better borrow some money from Poko, so I can pay the devil to replace her.  I’m kind of afraid to go in the door tonight.  Hall might just be in there drinking water out of a Hookah.

Oh no.

It was a standard evening in paradise… sometime last week.  The Hard Piece and David were most likely in the front yard, kickin it with some brew and tunes.  The weather has been changing a little lately, so the front door seems to make its way wide open on occasion… gotta let a little paradise in ya know.  This particular night we happened to let a little more than paradise in….

The next night, I was alone while David was boozing it up at the Keyhole.  I decided to put away some great new items that I had bought at Crate and Barrel, but something was amiss.  I was about to grab the bag by the handle and saw a new friend looking back at me. 

It seems that Westwood Paradise is not only a haven for Smooth, but also a haven for wildlife!  I tried to find what species this little fella (or lady) is, but didn’t have much luck.  I did however, brush up on my wildlife photography skills.

Sad to say that the friendly little grasshopper hung around a few days, but has since dissappeared.  According to David, “He was pretty quiet for a grasshopper, never gave us any trouble.”  Perhaps he was nearing the end of a long life and wanted to spend his final days in a utopia.
It may never be known what drew the creature inside, but it’s quiet possible that he was captivated by smooth.  Was he just curious?  Is he hiding in a crack awaiting the perfect moment to grasshop?  Did he escape back into the front yard?  We may never know.

It was Saturday night, everyone was inside watching shitty movies…or semi-shitty movies at least….the Paradise was calm, except for some primitive gorillas consuming “The Beast” on a porch three doors down.  I was inside in the kitchen getting a smooth drink, when this horrible high pitched screaming commenced outside. 

Somehow, an intoxicated gorilla made his way into a truck and decided to “kick some ass” by peeling out in the street for somewhere in between 15 and 30 seconds.  This would be the equivalent of a wild gorilla beating on his chest to show his low intelligence.

I came outside and was met by Poko, who was also in awe.  Across the street i heard a door open and then a Kate popped out in full face-paint, ready to poach the wild gorillas jumping around in their jungle.  She said some mean words that I won’t repeat here.  Then the door shut and re-opened.  One last yell was heard from the crazy gorilla poacher we call Kate:

“We don’t need that in WWWWWWeswwwoooood”, then a pause,”PARADISE!!!!!!”

Needless to say…the gorillas mysteriously disappeared.


The other day, the strangest thing happened…

I was sitting in The Westwood Yacht Club and Parlor and out of nowhere there was a poof of smoke!  Suddenly “The Hard Piece”appeared and was talking crazy about some “Worlds of Fun” Hearse doing a drive by on Westwood Paradise on a Friday evening in September or October! 

He said something about ghouls that look like Hall or something and then he stuck his finger up his butt and disappeared.   The smell of ten-thousand markers lingered in the air and left me astonished! 

Amazing….I’m starting to think the Westwood Yacht Club and Parlor  is Haunted by these little jerks…Hall and Oates.

The Days

May 2018
« Aug